Why does my bilingual child only speak one language?

Are you wondering if it’s normal that your bilingual child only speaks one language even though they understand everything you say in a minority language? Trust me when I say that you’re definitely not alone, and this can be very common! In fact, in a large study on the outcomes of language strategies in Belgium, researchers found that 1 in 3 children raised with one bilingual parent were passively bilingual. Given bias (parents who participated in the study were likely actively engaged in bilingualism) and older age of these children (other families may have quit their approach) — this number is likely even higher. In heavily monolingual societies, it might be even more kids refusing to speak a language they understand!

In this blog, we’ll cover why children may understand a language but not speak it, what you can do about it, and how to move away from this if it is no longer working for your family! 

why do some bilingual children only speak one language (but understand two)?

It’s absolutely normal for a bilingual child exposed to two languages to speak only one of their languages because there is SO much individual variation between bilingual children. Because there’s so many big differences in children’s environments, language combinations, motivation levels, and access to high-quality exposure, it’s really not a surprise that such a wide range of outcomes are considered within normal range.  

The most important thing to remember is this: A child who understands but doesn’t speak a language is still bilingual. Having a passively bilingual child is not a personal failure, nor something you must fix unless you want to.

But if you’d like to encourage your child to start speaking your minority or home language, understanding the root causes helps you know what to adjust.

common reasons your bilingual child doesn’t speak one language

1. Lack of exposure. With bilingual (or multilingual) children, there is almost always an imbalance of exposure — this is unavoidable in situations where there is a clear minority and majority language. But for bilingual children this imbalance may prove to not provide enough exposure to create active ability as more input is needed for a child to speak a language than is needed for them to understand. Beyond quantity (amount) of exposure, it’s also possible that a child lacks quality input as it may come from only one or two speakers.
2. Lack of need. More so than monolingual children, bilingual children frequently receive input from bilingual adults. This means they may not find a reason to speak a less dominant language if they know that they will be understood using a language that is easier. Humans will ALWAYS choose the path of least resistance which for most bilingual kids means using the community language. 
3. Poor language associations. If someone always commented on your accent, your grammar that wasn’t totally correct or monolingual like, or constantly corrected your speech, you wouldn’t keep speaking the language either. The associations children have with their language play a big role in their personal motivation to use the language and make it a part of their identity. If these associations are more negative (associated with correction, with chores, with being different…) than a child may choose not to speak the language.

how to move away from passive bilingualism

If you’d like your child to actively use both languages, here’s the general approach I recommend:

1. Identify the root cause.
   Observe when, where, and why your child resists speaking the language. What’s your response when they don’t use it? These clues can help reveal what’s behind the passive bilingualism.
2. Address the root issue.
   Depending on what you discover, you might:
   • Increase quality and quantity of input
   • Create positive emotional connections with the language
   • Build a genuine need to use it 
3. Use specific language activation strategies.
   Once you’ve adjusted the environment, try structured language reactivation techniques—activities and communication patterns that gently encourage active use.
4. Be patient and consistent.
   Change takes time. Your child’s relationship with you is years in the making and based on a certain pattern of communication you’ve built together—shifting it won’t happen overnight. Stay gentle, supportive, and consistent.

REMEMBER this is only a problem if it’s not working for YOU and your family. Passive bilingualism is a perfectly acceptable form of bilingualism. But if it is not what you had planned for and you want to make changes to get your bilingual child speaking both languages, then something needs to change to see progress. If your child is passively bilingual or on the path to passive bilingualism, you can check out the Language Reactivation Course here.

FAQ: passive bilingualism explained

What is passive bilingualism?

• Passive bilingualism occurs when someone understands a language but never or rarely actively uses the language.

Is it bad that my child only speaks one language but understands two?

• No — it’s not a moral or personal failing if your bilingual child doesn’t speak one of their languages and it’s not always something you need to change. If it’s fine with you and you think you’ll be able to continue giving your child language exposure even if they don’t ever respond to you in the language, that’s okay. Trying to change your child’s bilingualism and activate their language skills is only necessary if you want to and you’re willing to make a change (and possibly some sacrifices) to make it happen.

How do I know why my child is passively bilingual?

• A passive bilingual child will have good understanding but never or rarely use the target language. They may use a few words or simple phases in the target language but will have limited ability to make sentences of their own or 

How do I know if I’m at risk of this happening?

• Children at ‘higher risk’ of passive bilingualism have one bilingual parent, parents who use the community language as their primary language of communication between each other in the home, a minority language speaking parent who is not the primary caregiver, have an older sibling, are always dominant in the community language, have less than 40% of their input in the minority language. These are risk factors, not guarantees.

Why does this happen?

• Passive bilingualism is common in situations where one language is the majority/dominant language used by peers, teachers, and the wider community and another minority (home) language is used either by a smaller number of speakers or in reduced contexts. It may be due to:
  • Lack of exposure to one language
  • Lack of need to use the language
  • Speaking anxiety or language dynamics
  • Unmatched language skills between passive and active domains
  • Poor language associations

Do children grow out of passive bilingualism?

No. Passive bilingualism is not typically something that children grow out of. Some children may activate their language if something big changes in their environment, like a grandparent moving in, spending a significant amount of time in the home country (2+ months) or moving to a new country. For most children, passive bilingualism either stays as passive bilingualism or becomes language loss as children grow UNLESS parents actively address the root cause of their passive bilingualism and use strategies to support their language development.

When should I get help?

• If you suspect your child may be a passive bilingual or is on track to becoming a passive bilingual as noticed in losing language skills and this is beyond what you can manage — that’s your cue to get more support.