My Bilingual Child Understands Everything, But Won't Respond In My Language

Does this sound like you?

Scratching your head thinking: "they understand everythinggg, why won't they just respond to hack in our language?"

You're experiencing a common hurdle for bilingual parents, passive bilingualism—when a child understands a language but doesn’t speak it. If this resonates with your family’s experience, know that you’re not alone, passive bilingualism is much more common than you might think.

In this post, we’ll explore what passive bilingualism is, why it happens, and how to take the first steps toward turning bilingual understanding into active, confident communication in two (or more) languages.

What Is Passive Bilingualism?

Simply put, passive bilingualism describes a situation where someone understands a language but does not speak it. While they may comprehend conversations, follow instructions, and even read in the language, they struggle to use it actively in conversations.

There are two main types of passive bilingualism:

1. Innate Passive Bilingualism:
   This occurs when the speaker automatically understands (some of) a language due to its similarity to another language they speak. For example, speakers of mutually intelligible languages like Spanish and Portuguese or Swedish and Norwegian naturally develop passive skills in the other language.

2. Acquired Passive Bilingualism:
   In this case, understanding develops through intentional exposure—like hearing the language at home or through extended family—but speaking skills are not developed due to a lack of opportunity or need. This type is common in bilingual households where the home language is not the majority language in the community.

It's More Common Than You Think

And I mean much more common than you might expect.

An extensive study in Europe found that 1 in 4 children exposed to another language at home only spoke the majority language. When parents applied the OPOL strategy, this number was higher, with 1 in 3 bilingual children not speaking the minority language.

Even when English is the minority language, numbers are fairly similar with 1 in 3 bilingual English-Japanese children and 1 in 5 English-Norwegian bilingual children speaking only the majority language when tested at school-age.

This number is probably even higher in monolingual English-speaking countries like the UK, US, and Canada where bilingualism is less of a cultural norm on the wide scale. Numbers around the world are actually probably even higher than reported in this studies, given that parents who are keener on bilingualism are more likely to participate in studies on bilingualism.

Signs Your Child May Be a Passive Bilingual

If you’re wondering whether your child is a passive bilingual, here are some key indicators to look out for:

• They understand the home language but respond in another language.

• They speak well for their age, meeting all their speaking milestones in one language but struggle to do the same in the other.

• They continue to speak their dominant language even with family members who don't understand it well. 

• They can say basic or frequent words or phrases but struggle to form sentences or be spontaneous in the target language.

• They express resistance or discomfort when encouraged or prompted to speak the language.

Recognizing these signs is a critical first step in learning to support your child in their bilingual journey.

Why Does Passive Bilingualism Happen?

Passive bilingualism often develops when one language is used less frequently or in limited contexts. Such is the case in many bilingual families, where one language is spoken more widely by the community.

Common scenarios include:

• Exposure in early childhood leading to acquisition of comprehension skills but is inconsistent or insufficient for productive language skills.

• Input factors changing drastically in favour of the stronger language - as is the case when children start daycare or school.

While these situations can be challenging, they also highlight the potential for growth. If your child understands the language, they already have a strong foundation of the target language waiting to be activated.

Turning Passive Skills into Active Communication

The important thing to remember is that passive bilingualism is not a sign of failure. 

With the right strategies, your child can develop the confidence and ability to use their home language actively. Here’s how to begin:

1. Understand Your Child’s Language Profile

   • Situation 1: Your child used to speak the language but stopped due to environmental changes. This requires reactivation of skills they’ve already used.

   • Situation 2: Your child has always been a passive bilingual and has never actively spoken their minority language. This requires activating skills that have never been activated.

2. Identify Barriers to Speaking
   Passive bilingualism often stems from a gap in the core formula of successful and harmonious bilingualism Exposure + Need. Lack of practice, fear of making mistakes, or feeling embarrassed can also all play a role.

3. Create a Plan
   Use a structured approach to start increasing exposure, motivation, and opportunities for your child to speak the language. Remember that this can take a long time (especially for children in situation 2) so you'll need strategy, patience, determination, and accountability as you go.

Passive Bilingualism Is a Sign of Success

It’s easy to feel frustrated when your child doesn’t speak the home language, but passive bilingualism is a success in its own right. It shows that your efforts to expose them to the language have paid off. Now, with some additional tools and strategies, you can help guide them to the next stage of their bilingual journey.

What You Can Do To Activate Passive Bilingualism

If you’re ready to support your child in turning passive language skills into active communication, my course, Bilingual Blossom, is here to help. Designed specifically for parents of passive bilinguals who are ready to make changes to get their children speaking, this program will give you the knowledge, strategies, and confidence to make real progress with your child's active language skills.